Yesterday, I did one thing, which I had never believed I would do.

I published my first YouTube video!

For some, creating a video and posting on YouTube, is just such an ordinary task, without any mental obstacle.

For me though, it was the most difficult thing to do.

The difficulty is not on the task of creating and posting videos. The difficulty is in my mind, as I did not approve and accept myself, and could not tolerate the "me" in my video.

Since 2009, I have been teaching Excel in the Great Toronto Area, delivering corporate on-site trainings in many organizations, associations, businesses, and taught public classes in my own two classroom locations in Toronto and Mississauga. I helped lots of people raising their Excel skill levels, becoming more productive and more capable.

However, all that were in-person live trainings.

In March 2020, my live in-person classes were all canceled due to COVID. Many of my friends suggested me to switch my Excel training to online classes, online courses, or even posting Excel training videos on YouTube.

On the surface, rationally, I agreed with them completely; but deep down, there was another voice in me, yelling out loud, "Noooooooo"!

It's frightening to record my Excel training videos for my students to see; not even mention to put them on YouTube for completely strangers to watch.

When I taught Excel live in-person to a group of people, I felt confident and comfortable, because I knew how much value they would get from my teaching. When I watched my own training video, I could not tolerate the "inferior me" in the video. I could not accept "my training" in the video.

Fortunately, I have been immersed in spiritual learning since 2004, and I understood lots of spiritual concepts. Like, Surrender. Surrendering to whatever life throws at you. Complete acceptance of everyone around you, and the imperfect self.

I understood it, however it's very hard to embody those concepts in my daily life.

Until one day, while I was running and listening to audio book, it hit me. I was listening to Mel Robbins' life coaching session, she was coaching a lady to break away from the cage that the client built for herself, and accept the authentic and imperfect self. This cage is the false perfect self image the client built and carefully maintained in her own mind.

Hearing that, suddenly, a light bulb went on in my head. Instantly, I decided I would break that self built cage, and accept my authentic and imperfect self. I then went on and turned all my Excel courses into on-demand online courses without any mental obstacles.

My online Excel courses, are only accessible to people who signed up my online courses. I do feel comfortable about that. However, to create Excel videos and post on YouTube, It was still a no-no for me. I was not able to embrace that idea, until two weeks ago, my own life coach coached me about it.

Two years ago, I studied life coaching from Tony Robbins' life coaching school. During the study, for half year, every week, we students paired up and coached each others to practice. My life improved significantly in all aspects, since I was being coached every week. I really felt the power and positive impact of having a life coach.

In the life coaching field, there is a saying, "Every coach needs a coach". Although I helped others when I coached other people, but it's very hard to coach myself.

One month ago, I found a wonderful coach located in Montreal. Since then, she has been coaching me online every week. Two weeks ago, when we talked about the idea of creating Excel videos and posting on YouTube, I said I did not feel comfortable doing that.

She then used a classic coaching technique to help me to overcome the fear. I'm very familiar with it, as I use the same technique to coach others too. After going through that process, I felt peaceful and comfortable creating Excel videos and posting on YouTube.

However, I did have some doubt, wondering if my feeling and attitude would change the next day, as I was not completely immersed into that process. The reason is that I knew exactly what she was going to ask me in every step of that process since I was so familiar with it. It felt like, half of me was observing her coaching me, and another half of me was being coached by her.

The good thing is, up to now I still feel comfortable about posting my Excel training videos on YouTube. As a matter of fact, I posted my first Excel video on my YouTube Channel yesterday. Oh Yeah!

If you hope to raise your Excel skills, it's a good idea to subscribe to my YouTube Channel. I will continuously post more Excel videos, you will learn new ways of thinking and applying your Excel skills to your workplace.

Life, is never about fighting somebody or something outside of us. It is always about fighting the self within.